I am so conflicted by this photo.
I've been open about my eating disorder on this blog before. I talked about support, the effects and how to get help for anyone else who is ill. I've been this way since I was fourteen. There have been a few times in my life where I was seriously sick. This was one of them.
There is no filter on this, no photoshop or anything. This is simply how thin I was at the time. You can see it in my arms and below in my face. If you look at my waist as well. I was down to a size six and eating six rice cakes for dinner before going for a run. I think the highlight of this was when a size six strapless dress fell off me. It had nothing to keep it up.
I am not going to go into details about what I was doing or the illness here because I don't want to trigger anyone else nor do I want to invoke the competitive awfulness that bulimia inspires in myself either.
I miss being that small but I don't miss being that ill. This was in 2010 and it was the worst episode I ever had. I started this summer with it as well but never this bad. I hope I never see a size six ever again.
It just felt weird to see the photos where my head looks wrong and I don't feel like me. I don't think the blunt fringe helped either.
0 Yorumlar